


Tall, Dark, and Handsome. (I'm talking about my venti Starbucks drink.)

by zeromiles



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Coffeeshop AU, Gyuhao, M/M, also he works at target, hansol as white hipster whos veins are probably cotten candy frappe, i love it, junhui is only mentioned lol sorry jun, minghao is a barista, mingyu is slightly annoying yet loveable regular, omg this title is so dumb idk why i thought of that but i did, only rated teen because minghao cannot stop swearing, prompt belongs to nerds-are-cool on tumblr, sort of anyways, sort of beta'd, this is ridiculously gay and cheesy, what is wonwoo idk hes there, wonwoo is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 11:49:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7616932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeromiles/pseuds/zeromiles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>prompt: you give me a different fake name every time you come into starbucks and I just want to know your real name bc ur cute but here I am scrawling “batman” onto your stupid cappuccino by @nerds-are-cool on tumblr</p><p>Despite all the weird aliases he went by, Velociraptor was no doubt the most handsome man Minghao had ever had the chance to lay eyes on, more handsome than Junhui even. Standing well over 6'0, with tan skin and a gleaming, toothy smile, he was literally the definition of tall, dark, and handsome.</p><p>If only Minghao knew his fucking name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tall, Dark, and Handsome. (I'm talking about my venti Starbucks drink.)

**Author's Note:**

> oh wow thanks for deciding to read this lame fic i wrote at 2 am and if u clicked on this on accident pls give it a read anyways its gay and cheesy gyuhao (aka the best gyuhao)
> 
> EDIT** omg thanks for 100+ kudos and 500+ hits ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

"Venti iced coffee with coconut milk for Velociraptor," Minghao called out, feeling stupider every second he stood in his dumb green apron with his dumb black-green hat (which most definitely did not match his silvery-gray hair, no matter what the fuck Junhui said to make him feel better), calling out an order for an animal that's been extinct for who knows how much. He could literally feel all the nonexistent stares from all the lucky customers who managed to snatch seats in the busiest part of the day, as well as the tenants that weren't as lucky. They were all probably thinking _Who the fuck names themselves Velociraptor? What the fuck are they doing with their lives? And what does that barista think he's doing, wearing that horrific hat with his dumb silvery-gray ha-_ "Here you go, sir!" Minghao's negative thoughts all disappeared as he smiled (extremely) upwards towards said Velociraptor, also known as Clark Gable, Fred Weasley, Yazawa Nico, Jennifer Aniston, Naruto, Marty McFly, and, which seemed to be a personal favorite of his, Bucky Barnes.

Despite all the weird aliases he went by, Velociraptor was no doubt the most handsome man Minghao had ever had the chance to lay eyes on, more handsome than Junhui even (not that he would ever say it aloud, Junhui's tiny pride would be crushed). Standing well over 6'0, with tan skin and a gleaming, toothy smile, he was literally the definition of tall, dark, and handsome.

If only Minghao knew his fucking name. Minghao wouldn't say he was thirsting after Tall Dark and Handsome, but _fuck_ , he was thirsting after Tall Dark and Handsome.

"I just want to know his fucking name, Wonwoo, his name. Is that too much to fucking ask?" Minghao complained into his phone. "It can't be that hard to like, come into Starbucks and leave an order with his real, honest to god _name_ for fuck's sake. What did I do to deserve calling out Illumi Zoldyck in front of like, a million fucking people and seeing a cute guy answer _every single day_ , but not being able to know who he even is?"

Minghao could hear Wonwoo snickering. "I don't know man, maybe he's some kind of secret agent for the government, here to make sure the odd barista with hair that doesn't match his outfit doesn't poison annoying customers' drinks."

"Piss off you soggy potato chip," Minghao groused. "Stop hiding in the bathroom because you can't stand customers anymore and get back to work."

"You know me so well," Wonwoo praised. "But alas, you are incorrect. I am hiding in the bathroom because one, I had to take a shit, and two, because customers were being fucking annoying. How am I supposed to tell another white soccer mom that _no ma'am, your favorite brand of shitty graham crackers with prespread peanut butter is no longer available most likely because they taste like cardboard and your bratty kid's tears. I'm sorry, can I recommend you bother another fucking cashier, preferably Seungkwan from aisle seven who never returned my favorite beanie? Thank you!_ Like no, I am not for that bs, not today bitch."

"This was supposed to be a call for _me_ to complain," Minghao did have to admit, however, hearing about Wonwoo's Target problems made him feel better about his own. It's not like Velociraptor was rude or annoying. "I'm hanging up, my lunch break is gonna be over soon."

"Same, gotta get back before Seungcheol starts throwing up his lungs screaming at me." Wonwoo sighed. "It's Melania Trump's usual time soon, better learn his name today."

"If he actually comes with Melania Trump as a name I wouldn't even be fucking surprised," Minghao said, already foreseeing him calling out Donald's Third Lady and noticing at least four white millennials actually believing there was a rich person in their shitty local Starbucks. It wasn't hard to imagine. "See you."

Turning off his cell, Minghao gathered up his stuff and left the café (which had much better coffee than Starbucks) three buildings away from his dreaded workplace. Entering through the backdoor, he slipped on his apron and his (absolutely disgusting) hat and nodded to the shift lead (this actual white hipster named Hansol who's probably dreamed of becoming a Starbucks manager since birth), then headed outside where he was greeted by the familiar sight of annoyed, rushed customers who just couldn't _wait_ to get mad at the barista because it was most definitely his fault that he spelled their confusing ass name wrong (It's Marylin, not Marilyn! It's manners, not throwing a temper tantrum!). Minghao loved his job.

After serving the most annoying people in the entire universe for five minutes (it felt like thirty hours), Minghao was finally (finally!) greeted with the familiar sight of Bob Ross' smiley, happy face.

"Who's it gonna be this time?" Minghao snorted, not realizing what he just said was really fucking rude and could cost him his entire job (he hated it, but student loans don't pay themselves). _Oh, fuck._

Maybe the gods were on his side for once, because, after getting over his initial shock, Curious George gave Minghao the biggest smile he'd gotten yet. "Today it's Rob Kardashian. Isn't it good? It took me like, ten whole minutes to think of it."

Minghao almost cried in relief. "Brilliant. Absolutely riveting. It's incredible." Percy Jackson laughed out loud (it was the most beautiful laugh Minghao had ever heard).

"I know right?"

Minghao scribbled "Rob Kardashian" in the nicest print he could (which still came out to be pretty messy) on the venti cup (did Deidara even realize Minghao memorized his order?), and smiled at the tall man in front of him. It was now or never (until like, tomorrow, but of course Minghao wasn't thinking of tomorrow in this moment.) "By the way, what's your real name? I'd hate to have to keep calling you Big Bird in front of my coworkers."

"Thought you'd never ask." Minghao stiffened, shocked. _Oh my god, is this a dream?_ "I'm Mingyu. Nice to meet you. And can I have your name?"

The guy with long hair behind Mingyu coughed. "Dude, he has a nametag. Also, you guys have been staring into each others eyes for like ten minutes. And I really fucking want my cappuccino."

**Author's Note:**

> WHEEZES THIS IS 1K OF DUMB GAY GYUHAO WRITTEN AT ONE AM  
> ,,,,,,,this was supposed to be 200-300 words i s w e a r
> 
> thanks for reading ahhhh pls tell me what you thought!!!!!!! and if u see any grammar/punctuation mistakes pls point them out!!! live and breathe gyuhao, says i, a hardcore meanie and hanhao shipper (still love gyuhao tho) :000
> 
> (u bet ur ass that was jeonghan at the end. poor baby he's sick of all these gay nerds blocking him from getting much needed finals coffee)


End file.
